The little boy in that picture is the most important person to me in the world. He is my favorite person and he is my little love bug. So, with that being said. I want to talk about something else that makes him sad. I'm sure as parents, we all do this if not on a daily basis, we do it on occasion. Or, we have at least done it at some point in time. We have prioritized other things above our children. I will just speak for myself though, truthfully, I hope you cannot relate if you are a parent. See, there is a statement out there that says something to the effect of "The only perfect parents are those who don't have kids yet." I used to think this statement was malarkey! I used to think that I would do everything right from day 1. I (ashamedly) used to look at my friends who had children and think of how empty my womb was, and how lonely I was for a little. I used to think to myself "I would never treat my child that way!" Lol...well, let me tell ya. And I will say, I have to tell on myself a little here, I have done some of those exact things I said I would never do. Now, when I say that I DON'T mean that I hit my kid or anything abusive like that, so don't get me wrong. 
I have, however, been guilty of not giving him the attention he deserves. I have been guilty of having my nose stuck in a book, or the cell phone, or eyes glued to the tv for a day. I have been guilty of laying on the couch when I don't feel good. Now, do any of these things "hurt" him? No. At least not in a physical way. He plays on the floor, and I am right there, when he comes to me, I turn my attention to him for a minute. But, it is divided. My attention is never or rarely FULLY his. Even when I take a timeout, I still have other things on my mind than just enjoying his company. It makes me sad, to think that I treat my favorite person this way. My most important mission, my little love. After all, children NEED love, support, and attention to grow up healthy and happy. There is no such thing as too much love and attention for a child under the age of two. Let me say that again. Let it sink in good. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH LOVE AND ATTENTION FOR A CHILD UNDER THE AGE OF TWO. There is a difference between spoiling them, and loving them. This age is so critical in building trust. It's just the way it is.
Back to the lack of attention. I think parents are busy this day and age. We as people are busy. We are busy with work, school (ours or the kids), sports or dance. When we take those things away, there's always things to do at home. Cleaning, laundry, dishes, cooking, errands, paying bills, making phone calls. Then when you take all those things away, there's the television, movies, video games, cartoons. When we remove even that, there's the endless world of the internet. Facebook, twitter, instagram, youtube, etc. If we take a step further, there's tablets, nook, kindle, ipad, books. And last but not even close to the least, the cell phone. DUN DAH DUN.......
Our cell phones these days are filled with apps for social media...more like antisocial media. The "let me get all gussied up and visit facebook" type of social media. As if it were a place to go, as if it needed our full attention, as if it were more important than our children.....My favorite person in the world. How did I get here? How did I get to a place where so many things became more important than loving and spending time with my favorite person? The person who is MOST important to me? I assure you, it was probably one thing at a time. Before I knew it, I had all these priorities and my beautiful brown eyed baby boy got pushed further and further down the list. That's not to say that I ignore him all the time, or that I neglect him when he's hungry, or needs changed. And I do spend time with him here and there, but it just doesn't always look like it should.
I have been working on something for a while now. In my mind, I have been thinking about my need to spend more time with him, after all....he will NEVER be this little again! He is growing so fast, and I don't want to miss out on his life. What, all because there was this other thing that was more important than him? I know that none of my other tasks are more important than my son, but what am I portraying to him when I ignore him while I talk on the phone, or when I yell at him for throwing a fit while I am trying to pay bills. I am telling him, without words, that my phone call is more important, my paying bills is more important, that money is more important that him. And when I have my nose in my phone, it is more important than him.
Perhaps one of the saddest and most awakening moments for me, was when I sat on the couch after being home from class, and just grabbed my phone to check emails, and texts really quick. I had the phone in my hand for maybe 10 seconds before he screamed and hit the phone out of my hand. It landed on the floor...In that moment, I realized that my son, my most important and favorite person in the world was feeling hurt. He was feeling left out. He was feeling rejected, and jealous of a stupid telephone. Is that REALLY the kind of mom I want to be? To that, please excuse my language, I say HELL NO!
I want to be a mom who he remembers as being there for him, not just with him. I want him to remember me as putting his needs above my own. He is still young enough, he takes naps. I can check the phone after he goes down for nap and bed. There is no need to be glued to my phone all the time. It is kind of funny to me that around the same time as I am having this realization, my phone battery is dying. My phone is slowing in speed, and life is picking up in speed. I have so much to do now. School, work, motherhood....out of them all, motherhood is the most important. Obviously, I am still going to attend work and school, and do my homework, but. When we are here together, I need to be HERE. Not on facebook, not on twitter, not in any of those cyber worlds....for any other reason. I need to be with him, 100%.
Now, I said all of that to say, I propose a 30 day challenge. I say 30 days because that seems like an attainable goal. Who knows, if at the end of 30 days, you find it has totally changed your life, and your kids' lives for the better, maybe you will make it a 6 month challenge, or a 1 year challenge, or even better....a life change :) So, here it is.
1. Remove the social media apps from your phone.
2. When you're with the kids (or any person for that matter) be with them. Not on your phone.
3. Give your FULL attention. This doesn't mean staring at eachother for 4 hours, just be there. Play a board game, play lego's or dolls. Whatever your child is into. Get onto their level.
4. I can't stress this one enough, PUT AWAY THE CELL PHONE!!! Studies have shown that when the visible presence of a cellular device is there, the person you are spending time with, leaves the encounter feeling less satisfied. Because, there is the knowledge that your attention could be drawn away at any second.
5. Unplug! Once a week, unplug completely. No phone, no tv, no tablets, no computers...turn it ALL off, even if you only do it for a few hours (ideally for a day), but just get used to it again. It's kind of nice:)
6. Last but not least, have fun! Laugh, play, read books, snuggle, hug, kisses...all of the things that make the world go around :) enjoy your little(s), after all, they will never be this little again!
That's it...the whole shebang! My great 30 day challenge to all the parents out there....
Personally, I know I haven't been very good at answering texts lately, or updating my facebook status. However, I am about to get even worse. I am going to do this 30 day challenge. Starting right now. I am removing the facebook app from my phone. This means I will have to actually login to see facebook or update my status. I am going to leave my phone on the charger during the day, unless I am going somewhere and need my phone with me, there is no reason to have it, except to teach my son how not to act in the presence of other people. I will check my phone in the morning, when Camden is sleeping for nap time, and after he has gone to bed. Other than that, consider me "off the grid" :)
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